Sullen

Walking down the gritty streets, Misfortune and Ugliness surrounds me.

I am a piece of the garbage blowing about, along with the rift raft lined up against the fences.

My insides twist with despair. Oh, the decisions I have made, Confliction on my beliefs.

Slowly the memories flow before my eyes,  You voice echos in my head, vivid as so I can almost see the smoke rise as though seeing the heat coming from your mouth. And still after knowing what I know, the mere thought of you knocks down all my defenses.

I can almost see the smoke rise as though seeing the heat coming from your mouth. And still after knowing what I know, the mere thought of you knocks down all my defenses.

I have lost you, or I never had you. I am still confused on whether I am hurt by your betrayal or I am pleased to have the memories with you, Memories of you loving me.

As I walk my body hangs low and slump. Some part of me is missing, What am I lacking?  Was it all Lies?

I say this to myself,  grasping for an excuse for you. A reason to believe just to get me through.

This day mirrors my thoughts, gloomy and dark. A constant moisture shields my tears, City life drowns the sound of my cries.

Sullen. My heart beats never like it did before. The speed from the anticipation of your call, or when I knew it was near for me to see you,  I have never felt again. Moments when our eyes locked, watching you talk, being close to you..

Even remembering these moments makes my heart skip a beat and my eye’s flood with tears, as I know I am no longer waiting for you, no longer grasping all of you, even longing for your call.

The pain stabs my soul.  Emptiness fills my whole body.  My heart is Shallow and hollow. My cries echo within me.

Sullen, Is my face. The color has left me, My eye’s no longer gleam.  My mind constantly drifts in hopes of seeing you again. Passing me by on the street or driving by.

I get lost in wondering if you would remember my face in the crowd, Would your heart flutter? Would a smile curve on your lips or  would your eyes hide their existence?

I am tormented every second. With the loss, the devastation and utter pain of losing you, As I am haunted with the hopes and fear of our reunion.

The cold bites my face,  but I am numb.  I walk aimlessly, dreading the night fall. Darkness surrounding me, highlighting the loneliness I feel.

As this night drags and this hole enlarges, I am swallowed in endless misery.  bouts of hysteria overwhelms me with, but there is not outlet. No release from this term, which was once Love between You and I.

I look at a store window to see my reflection, what I found staring back at me was fading away.